Tomorrow I go to my very first Hormone Replacement Therapy appointment, and hopefully I’ll get to start taking testosterone. I’m not sure if I’ll be able to, I have a lot of health issues, but then again, I know of a lot of people with my specific health issues who are on T. :crosses fingers:
There’s also the fact that I’m genderqueer. I do lean masc, but not completely. I have all these conflicting feelings, but I also remember being 19 years old and reading about transition. I remember being in high school and wanting so badly to get rid of my chest (that feeling has never, ever gone away). I watch others transition, and it hurts.
When people call me ‘sir’, I walk on air for a few days.
I can’t stay this depressed any longer. I can’t every winter and summer look into transitioning. I’m forty fucking years old, I have to stop being scared of the boogeymen that are my parents and be myself.
I just hope I don’t come home disappointed.
Life & Fiber 