I usually use my tarot to help me meditate and relax, with no thought to what the books and such actually say about it. For me it’s usually all about the imagery and how it helps me look past my PTSD and process.
But tonight was Hallowe’en, and thus Sawhain, and a little ritual on what’s been a tremendously bad day felt like a good idea. It was stripped down to the bones and only had what I needed, but it was enough. And then I remembered my tarot deck. “Why not?” I thought.
I shuffled and drew one card for my deceased Pépère, one for my deceased uncle/brother (no, nothing shocking, just a late-in-life baby; my grandparents also often had custody of me), and one for the new year. I hadn’t even thought of the fact that a 3-card draw is a lay-out.
Each image spoke peace to me, but I couldn’t grok them, so I pulled out the LWB.
Pepe: Past: Ace of Wands: The possibly of creativity, excitement, adventure; a challenge to step forward with courage and confidence.
My Pepe paid for my piano lessons starting when I was four, because I had watched him play, mesmerized. He made sure I had a working car as soon as I had a license, and that I could fix it. He never let insults to me stand. His wit and love helped me survive a childhood he would have stopped had he knew it was happening.
Uncle: Present: Four of Swords: Take a moment of respite. Close your eyes and find that still, quiet place at your core where inner strenth resides. Draw from that reserve in times to come.
My uncle was in many ways my brother. When I needed help, he was there, even when told to shun me. He’s the reason I have what I do from when I was homeless—he stored as much as he could in his garage for those years. When I apologized for turning my father in, he asked, “Why? You didn’t do anything wrong.”
It’s been driving me batty that I can’t do anything more to move along getting new housing. I’ve done everything. Thanks for the reminder.
New Year: Future: Six of Swords: A passage away from difficulties. This is a chance to recover after tribulation.
I know I’m on the ShelterPlus list. I know it’s only a 1-3 month waiting list on average. It’s been about 2 months. I just need to remind myself that this is temporary, then I’ll be safe with running water and central heat again. I can hold on.
Did the cards say anything I didn’t already know? Nah. But was it a good reminder of what I already knew, and needed to hear today? Yes. It’s how they actually work. They take what’s there and give you a new lens to see it through. I find it very helpful.
Would you like me to post about some of my meditations with tarot? It’s been cold enough that any fiber craft is difficult. Let me know!
Life & Fiber 